I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
