Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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