There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
