Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
