Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
