ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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