i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
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My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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