Apparently you make a good broom.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
