I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
