She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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