Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
