My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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