I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
This is my gift to your gina
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
