Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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