69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
