I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
people are starting to question the shark bite story
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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