would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize