I got chris browned last night
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
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you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
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I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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