I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize