There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
