conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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