My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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