you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
