Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
