Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
