I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize