I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Panties = found
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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