My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize