Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
His nipple licking is glorious
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