I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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