that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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