Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
