i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize