i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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