At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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