What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
