Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Who did Billy Mays play for?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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