he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize