So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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