Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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