yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
