Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
