Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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