standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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