rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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