Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
