in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
