He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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