apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
