cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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