How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
