I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
