His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
