College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask