Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize