I'm so fucking centered right now
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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