I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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