New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
