M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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