I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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